Christina McKelvy: 0:13

Welcome to Obology. I'm Christina McKelvie. Today we're going to be speaking to Azeana Serra-Gosa Torres. She's a mental health advocate in the state of Hawaii and also ran for Miss Hawaii and won Miss Photogenic. She's going to be competing again in Miss Latina, hawaii soon. She shares her story about bullying and how that contributed to her own mental health journey. We also discuss how social media is used as a tool for bullying and the negative mental health impacts social media can have. Other topics that are covered are men's mental health, growing up in Hawaii and her passion for educating young people about why mental health is important to your overall well-being. We'll be right back.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 1:33

Welcome to . Stories of hope, healing and resilience. I'm your host, christina McKelvie. Today, we're going to be speaking to Azeana Serra-Gosa Torres.

Speaker 3: 1:44

Hi, how are you doing? I'm great. How are you? I'm good, thank you.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 1:49

Thank you so much for being here. I follow your comment Instagram and I notice that you do a lot of advocacy for mental health, so I'm really enjoying our discussion today. I know there's a personal element there for you as well. Let's start by you telling our listeners a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3: 2:09

Yeah, of course. I'm 23 years old, I live in the state of Hawaii, I recently competed in the Miss Hawaii competition and my platform is mental health awareness. I stand for mental health awareness because at the age of 15, I attempted to end my life and survive. Thankfully, I'm super happy to be alive today and super happy to share my story with others. And you know, I agreed to come on Hopeology because I love what it stands for, where it speaks of stories of resilience and overcoming and hope, and I believe that I embody that whole characteristics in my story. So thank you for allowing me to be here today.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 2:53

You're very welcome and, yes, you do embody hope and resilience, and I'm curious tell me a little bit more about that journey that you have been on since you were 15 to, you know, be on Miss Hawaii, and I think you were one Miss Photogenic as well.

Speaker 3: 3:09

Yeah, I did. Thank you, Of course I you know, in high school I suffered extreme bullying and I believe that that took a toll on my mental health. I was severely bullied online. I was severely bullied in school. I wasn't able to really escape. You know you go home and you think home is a safe place, and then you realize that you go on social media and it doesn't end. So it was a never ending cycle. And you know the depression didn't help me as well. It always put ideas in my head. I don't want to go deep into it because you know, I don't want to share that part with others.

Speaker 3: 3:51

I definitely do think that my depression has made me a stronger person and so I do not regret what I've been through with depression. If anything. I'm actually grateful, you know, to have suffered through that and I know that sounds crazy and I know that sounds a little weird. But I found growth and healing through suffering and realizing that I was at the worst part of my life and at rock bottom and I was able to push myself to continue to go forward and not give up. And I believe you know that my failed suicide attempt was also resilient in its way, because I am so happy to be alive today and, you know, a little disappointed that at that age, you know, I wasn't really able to comprehend what was going on, so I did resort to that, but I'm thankful that I'm here and that nothing worse had happened.

Speaker 3: 4:48

I competed in Miss Hawaii, place top 10 on Miss Hawaii. You know I shared a story with kids in Hawaii. I just spoke at Damien Memorial, Mid-Pak Institute, campbell High School, and I just share my raw story and encourage them to seek help for mental health. You know that it's okay not to be okay and also just encourage that, if you are going through a rough time, that you can get out of it and your life can be completely different than it was yesterday.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 5:21

Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely, and it's okay not to be okay. I think that's a very important thing to bring to the table, Something that needs. There needs to be more awareness around that that it's okay to ask for help and, you know, seek healing.

Speaker 3: 5:40

Yeah, especially, you know, in men.

Speaker 3: 5:43

We recently just saw that you know we lost Angus Cloud from Euphoria Mental health lies. He was battling with his mental health, so are I keep. But you know it is stigmatized for women and men. You know they all, they all suffer through mental health. Mental health has no gender. It doesn't decide who it you know what gender it wants to affect. It affects everyone in its own way. So I think that you know if you are suffering through something, that you should be brave and come forward. And if you're a male, it doesn't make you less of a man. If anything, you know you are a man for coming forward and realizing that you need the help. I think the first step to recovery is understanding that something is wrong and reaching out and finding the resources that you need to get better.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 6:37

So true, men need that permission.

Speaker 3: 6:40

Yeah, especially. You know you said you're from Maui, so you understand the mentality of suck it up. You know you're not supposed to cry you're. You know you're a man. It's not allowed to feel their emotions. But men have emotions and they feel emotions very deeply and it's sad that they're forced to sit back and suck it up because that's what society has told them they need to do. But there are the you know, small percentage of people like us that are encouraging them. You know, come forward, it's okay. And then there are the stigmatization that goes on with other people who are like well, you know it's just.

Speaker 3: 7:27

Nobody wants to talk about mental health. Everyone wants to talk about you know what happened to the celebrity right? Everyone wants to talk about the biggest latest news, the best movie that just came out, but nobody wants to sit down and talk about a real problem and that is a mental health crisis. You know, across the United States and also just across the country.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 7:51

Why do you think that is?

Speaker 3: 7:54

I think that life doesn't come with an instruction manual and we are all just forced to live day by day, and I think high stress is what can cause mental health. I believe that you know we all don't come from good families, so sometimes it starts with our family. You know, we have high academic standards. We are comparing ourselves to others in society. There's just so many triggers to mental health in our everyday life.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 8:25

So I think anything triggers Bringing that back to your experience with bullying, I'm curious what your perspective is in general, if you want to share your personal experience with trying to, but in general, like how bullying even can shape one's mental health, because that's still a really big problem today.

Speaker 3: 8:46

I believe that bullying on social media, especially yeah, of course I believe that bullying you know it's hurtful.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 8:57

It's one of those.

Speaker 3: 8:58

Your words have power and if you don't realize that your words have power and you're just pushing them out of you, it can be very harmful to other people. I believe that a lot of my problems in high school stemmed from, you know, bullying that I faced from others. I actually created a you know, a slam poetry from Miss Hawaii, and in my slam poetry the first line I did speak about you know my name is Aiziana they said otherwise a version of me created by words, of those on the outside, loser, dumb, ugly, and that just goes to show a little bit of where my depression stemmed from. Also, words are just very harmful and they always say spits in stones and break your bones and words will never hurt you. But that's not true. Words do hurt people and they're very cut deep to the core. Especially. You don't know what other people are going through. You know even the person that's picking on you. They can be going through something themselves. I believe that people that hurt people are hurting themselves.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 10:11

Yes, yeah, it's trying to form my words, but people that bully others, especially children usually, typically are also coming from really hard environments. Yeah, I'm curious a little bit more about your experience with Miss Hawaii and you know how that also shaped your advocacy with mental health, because that's a huge platform.

Speaker 3: 10:42

Yeah, of course. So I do a lot of work with Nami Hawaii. I recently did something with Mental Health Kikua, where I used to be a peer specialist. So I would work with others who suffered from mental health and just help them do little things like shopping the store or, you know, sometimes make sure they're not triggered and just be a friend. You know, I think that's the best thing we can do for people is just be kind and be a friend to each other.

Speaker 3: 11:11

Miss Hawaii was amazing. I think that everyone thinks pageant girls are all in big competition and that they're probably fighting each other, but we're also tight-knitted and it's just so empowering to be surrounded by so many people who have dreams and aspirations to do big things like you do. So we all have platforms. So, you know, some of us have health and wellness platforms. Some of us have domestic violence platforms. In mind was mental health awareness, but it's all about taking what is personal to you and how you can use your personal story to help your community. And so with me, I, you know, I was able to do some things on KITV4 and Hawaii News. Now I'm still waiting for the release of that as well.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 12:01

Exciting.

Speaker 3: 12:03

I know it's super exciting, but mainly what I do is I just share my story in the community in any ways that I can. You know I try to insert myself in the community in other ways as well, not just mental health related. But you know I do like the heart walk, I do. You know the food drives help the homeless actually work for this city and county of Honolulu emergency services department and I work for CORE and basically what we do is we have a medical respite and we outreach to the homeless community and we bring them into our respite to stabilize them so we can help them find housing. So, you know, aside from mental health and the homeless suffer with that as well, but aside from that, I try to insert myself in the community in other ways that I possibly can.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 12:54

Sounds like you're giving back.

Speaker 3: 12:58

Yeah, if I found, I've actually found joy in, you know, giving back. It's. It's one of those things that you know I really, I really enjoy it. I don't really I do it because it makes me feel better. You know, I really it really. It really makes me feel good to know that I'm helping others, even if I don't get to see. You know the rewarding part of it, because most times, you know, I'll speak to kids and I'll preach and tell them this, and tell them that and hope that they take away what I said.

Speaker 3: 13:28

You know, sometimes kids come back. You know they find me on Instagram. You know they sometimes even come up to me in person and they're crying and that's when, you know, I kind of realized that I'm making an impact in somebody's life. So those are the kinds of things that drive me to continue to do what I do, because it's showing that, okay, this is, you know, this is working and this is a thing. And you never really know what people are going through. I never know what those kids come into the room with, so I try to hit. You know different aspects. When I share my personal story about bullying, you know I might be talking to bullies, so you know I tell them, like you know, if you are going through something and you're picking on someone, you know that's not going to help your situation. You know, be kind, it's okay not to be okay. And so you know, just doing what I can to help others is what I really enjoy doing.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 14:30

So you're talking to these students and you mentioned that there are there's probably bullies in the room and you're sharing your perspective and it's giving them another perspective, helping them realize that they are. When they're bullying someone, they're hurting someone and what can happen. You know in the worst, first sense or the worst case scenario, and I also find it interesting that you know your resilience shows were bullied. You know attempted suicide when you're 15 and now you're giving back now and how far you've come with your story.

Speaker 3: 15:07

Yeah, thank you. I just yeah, honestly, I think before I would get sad and it felt like it was the end of the world, you know.

Speaker 3: 15:16

I thought, I would never get better. I was alone in high school. I said I have no friends, you know, everybody picked on me. I said nobody likes me, you know. And now I've reached a point where I understand that you know I'm a lot stronger than my thoughts. You know this is it's all in all in my thoughts. And depression, you know, is just sickness, but you can overcome it, just like you can overcome anything else, and so keeping my mentality that way has helped me to grow as a person as and has helped me to understand that it's not the end of the world.

Speaker 3: 15:51

My life is not bad. It's just, you know, a bad day. Maybe it's a bad week, but I always tell myself that when I want to give up, that I should just try for one more day. You never know what tomorrow holds. It's. It's really crazy how you just wake up one day and then you get an email one day saying, hey, you want to be on Hawaii now and you know you were crying yesterday. It's things like that. You never know how your life is going to switch up and this is going to sound so weird, but I'm actually super driven by failing. You're driven by failing.

Speaker 3: 16:30

Yeah, and I know that sounds weird, but I really am Like I enjoy to fail. It encourages me that I won't give up that easily. And then I'm going to get back up and I'm going to try again and I'm going to do it harder than I did the first time. So when I fail at something, you know, for example, I, before I competed in this Hawaii I actually lost the Padden. I went against. There was three of us and I lost to. You know, miss Latino Hawaii, that was one of the Padden. I lost it. You know, congratulations to the title holder. She's awesome, she's a great person.

Speaker 3: 17:11

But aside from that, you know, I was super discouraged. It was the first pageant I ran in. I was a little discouraged but I decided like, no, I'm not going to give up. That was one thing. That was my first time running in a pageant, I'm going to try again.

Speaker 3: 17:25

So I got back up and I said, hey, I'm going to do everything to my power, I'm going to practice my interview skills, I'm going to practice my walk, I'm going to, you know, practice my platform and just do everything to my power to make sure that I can get where I want to be. And I performed that preliminary night and after I was like, oh man, I don't know if I did it, but let's hope I make top 10. And then they called my name and I made top 10. So that in itself was like, oh my God, like I can't explain the feeling of knowing like you failed once and you got up and you ended up winning. It's one of those things like it. Just it drives me to want to either do something bigger than I did the first time or do something to make sure that you know I do get a chance, if that makes sense.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 18:19

It does, it makes sense and glorious yeah. So I'm curious what are some other ways that we, especially young, young people, can increase awareness with mental health and importance of mental health?

Speaker 3: 18:37

I believe that talking about it is the best way to increase awareness. I believe that by talking about it, we open up the conversation and don't keep it so hidden. I think the problem with stigma is that we don't want to talk about it, which is why, for my platform, it's called end the silence, because it's, you know, it's me encouraging others to come forward and speak up and say that this is a problem and stand with me that this is a problem. I also believe that another way to increase awareness is by you know, other than talking about it, sharing resources and sharing your story as well. A lot of people, you know, feel alone in situations and they don't really want to come forward. But I believe that if they hear something they realize hey, I kind of feel that way too, maybe I'm not so alone Then that encourages them to come forward.

Speaker 3: 19:36

I honestly think, on a bigger level, like on a state level, that you know the whole idea we should be educating the students about mental health. I think there should be, you know, a mandatory class about mental health. You know we have like I don't know if it's still a thing, but they have like sex education. You know they have. You know you have like economics class, so why can't you have a mental health class in this? You know, in the state of Hawaii only to just, you know, not just share the bad side of mental health, not just to share, you know, that schizophrenia is a thing and depression is a thing anxiety but also to share the positive side of mental health, to give these kids coping strategies to go off of if they feel this way and to offer them, you know, a lot of kids don't understand that 988 is the suicide hotline in Hawaii. Every time I say 988, everyone looks purple and then when you tell them they can text it, their eyes get all big because now they're happy they can text it as well as just call it anytime of the day and the mental health prices.

Speaker 3: 20:45

So it's just educating the kids because, you know, like early intervention, I think, is like the best way, I think, if we can give them early intervention skills. Here are some coping strategies, here are resources. If you feel alone, please reach out, you know, and even just identifying if their friends are suffering through something, things like that are what I think would be so impactful for our state and for our kids who are growing up, especially in our generation of social media. Like I said before, high academic standards from families, toxic families it's just the best way to go. I think early intervention is beneficial.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 21:33

Yeah, getting having those classes like health class in elementary school as well. And social media is really interesting because earlier we were talking about how social media was a huge tool for bullying, and I'm thinking about this and it can also and you put it and have it be a huge platform, you know raise awareness for mental health and de-sigmatize it. So there's positive and negative to social media.

Speaker 3: 22:07

Yeah, I think that there's positive and negatives, like you said. I think the positive is, yeah, the raising mental health awareness and also just sharing, you know, important things with the community. You know good mental health videos. Aside from that, there are funny videos online as well, you know.

Speaker 3: 22:26

So social media is good in its way, but the toxic side is when it becomes, you know, when people start bullying each other on it, when they start posting things about each other or when they start, for example, comparing themselves to the next person. I think it's also a stem of mental health issues when they see someone who looks a certain way and then they're like why don't I look that way? Also, you know the amount of likes, the amount of followers, the amount of comments. I have ran into countless people, you know, that are my friends, you know, and they'll post something, and they're like well, I must have been ugly when I posted it, because nobody commented. And it really makes me think like, why? Why do you think that way? But that's like what social media has trained people to think.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 23:18

That's true.

Speaker 3: 23:19

You don't get enough comments, your post is bad. If you don't get enough likes, your post is bad. If you don't have enough followers. You know people think like oh, I must be a loser or I'm not popular. Like, you can be popular and not have a bunch of followers. Like my dad has 800 followers but for some reason we go everywhere on this island and he knows someone. It's the weirdest thing. I don't understand how he doesn't have like 100k because I promise, everywhere we go he's like oh hi, I'm like what?

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 23:50

Yeah, that's so Hawaii right there. Do you feel there should be an age limit with social media or age restrictions?

Speaker 3: 24:00

I think there should, but I think they'll get around it. I think that kids are still gonna find a way to be online and also because that's all they know. You know my little sister all she does is watch YouTube and I'm like what happened to going outside? I used to play outside, I used to play outside, but she likes to watch YouTube. She likes to play Roblox. You know, YouTube in itself I wouldn't say is super social media platform, but she does like TikTok, that's a social media platform.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 24:34

That's a huge one. I'm not even on it, but I get sent to talk videos every day by a couple of friends who will not be named, but yeah, hmm, so you feel that kids would get around it even if we did the restrictions. So then I'm wondering, like what we're not going to solve this today? But you know what the solution, or what a solution could be to limit the negativity that social media can bring, especially if bullying, comparing you know oneself to someone else, because there's a lot of filters that you can use and we can offer videos and offer photos, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 3: 25:14

I don't think that we'll really ever be able to keep negativity off of social media. I think the best way to help it is by promoting positivity on your own. I think that that's one of the ways to combat it, because somebody might have seen something negative and now they're seeing something a little more positive. But other than that, I don't think we'll really be able to keep negativity off unless Instagram or social media has more you know, guidelines as to what is allowed and what is not allowed. I've seen people post some crazy stuff online.

Speaker 3: 25:53

They still have accounts. So Instagram, you know not very their guidelines are there, but they're not very.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 25:59

They're not enforced.

Speaker 3: 26:02

Enforced yeah.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 26:04

Enforced, not very enforced. Yeah, I'm quite a bit older than you, so when I was younger I was bullied, but it wasn't, it was just at school. I was able to come home and leave, bullied at school, whereas nowadays, with social media, kids can't do that. Follows them home.

Speaker 3: 26:26

Yeah, and that's, you know, that's, like, I think, the worst part about it. I think that it's, yeah, it's. It's one of those things where you you come home from school and you were just bullied all day or you had to run into the people who bully you and you just want to. You just want to be safe in your room, you want to go online, you want to watch something and it's hard because then you see something that was posted online about you. Yeah, when you got back home from school, yeah, I think the thing that actually drove me to attempt to take my life was the fact that and I shared this on KITV4 when I was talking about my bullying story was that I actually had seen something online where I had these girls from my high school post a picture of me. They took it to my Instagram and they were like I think you should kill yourself and it got 500, oh, my gosh from kids all around the island.

Speaker 3: 27:26

You know people who I felt were my friends, people who, you know, I've never even met in my life. So also the problem with social media is that they also play follow the leader. So when somebody sees that oh, that was kind of funny, then they want to repost it because it was funny, but they don't understand that that's actually harmful. And so I attempted to do it but I woke up and that was it. But it's just. It's sad because I you know there are a lot of people who also suffer through that, who also have people doing things like that to them and even if it's not, you know them saying specifically you should end your life. I've seen people you know repost people's things and say something not very nice.

Speaker 3: 28:14

So, it is. It is kind of sad. It is sad to see that that happens in society, and also because they can't get away from it. So it's a never ending battle.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 28:28

A battle that you're fighting, but volunteering is core and mental health cocoa. Using Miss Toletia as a platform, a large platform, a social media page, so you're combating that.

Speaker 3: 28:46

I'm trying, I am really trying. Yeah, I just, I just hope to, you know, always share a little bit about mental health to just help someone else. You know I'm sure people always see my posts and they're like, oh, mental health, listen, mental health, that this girl, one day it might come in handy. They might just see it one day and be like, wow, I really need to see that. So you know, it's just, I really enjoy helping others. I really enjoy sharing my story.

Speaker 3: 29:18

You know I don't have shame in sharing it. I think a lot of times when I share it people are like, you know, they look a little like, yeah, because it, you know, nobody talks about that, nobody stands in front of it. The first thing they say is, yeah, you know, I attempted to end my life. That's a heavy thing. People don't want to say that. People think you know they should be embarrassed for saying something like that. Or people think that you know how could she say that? But I'm saying what's true and what others won't. You know it's about being brave and coming forward. That's, and I think by sharing my story it really helps me with my own mental health If that makes sense.

Speaker 3: 29:59

The giving back and just sharing what I've been through, I think helps my mental health because I'm able to, you know, just help others.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 30:10

Where do you find your strength to do that?

Speaker 3: 30:14

I think, in failure. I said, like I said, like I mentioned before, I think, when I always want to give up, like give up on something, whether it's, I don't know if I should be in that fashion show, I don't know if I should be in that pageant you know, there were actually a few times during Miss Hawaii where I actually wanted to drop out and decide and I don't want to compete anymore. And it was because, you know, I told myself like I'm not going to place top 10,. You know, I ultimately never wanted to win the whole thing, I just wanted to prove to myself that, you know, I can place top 10 if I believe I can and I can do it.

Speaker 3: 30:50

And so I was so hard on myself, you know, I cried a few times and I was like I don't want to do it anymore, I'm going to give up. And I talked to my pageant coach and you know she was explaining like you got to like push forward, you got to like keep going and don't give up. And then when she said don't give up, it reminded me of like every other time when I should have gave up or every other time where I let something else defeat me and I don't like to be defeated anymore. So it encourages me that I'm not going to be defeated, that I'm going to get up there and I'm going to do my best, and if I don't place top 10, then it's okay because I did my best. So that was the mentality I had to go on Doing your best and thriving off of failure.

Speaker 3: 31:42

Yeah, I think, yeah, everyone, everyone thinks failure is you know a bad thing. They think, oh, I failed the test. You know I failed at this, I failed at that. I think it's an opportunity to grow and be better. I think that if you fail at something, you can only get better at it. You can. It's like a sport. You know, if you don't make the football team, then try again, because you might again.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 32:11

And it's like creating a plan. You know when you're growing a plan or raising plan, whatever the term is. You know sometimes you have to cut the plant, cut the leaves and prune it a little bit, but it grows bigger and stronger and more vibrant. Yeah, so failure is like pruning.

Speaker 3: 32:32

I know, I think everyone I tell that to they're like God, kind of weird man. I, I, yeah, I think it's. It's alarming because most times everyone's like, no, I don't want to fail. But I think, maybe because I've been through so much adversity in my life, maybe because I felt like I've experienced a lot of things at a young age that I maybe shouldn't have, that might be why I use it as a way to drive me forward rather than push me back a way to drive you forward rather than pushing you back.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 33:14

Failure is that momentum. I'm getting all pumped up and encouraged for my own things, like yeah, and I agree with you. I mean, I think it's important that kids learn to fail too, and I think that can really help with resilience and increase positive mental health, being able to accept failure, being able to navigate failure and move to it.

Speaker 3: 33:39

I think it's just, it's one of those things that's hard because they teach you in school, like your parents always tell you, don't fail, right. So that already creates the mentality that failing might you know, failing must be bad. If I fail, I must not be good enough. If I fail, you know, I must not be smart. That's the mentality, you know. That's where it starts, or it's just it's it's, it's one of those things that's just trained in our brain. It's like a norm, right?

Speaker 3: 34:09

Everyone's always telling you well, you better win, don't lose, you know. So it's, it's that mentality Like you better win, don't lose, but it's never like it's okay, if you lose you should try to win. Okay, if you lose, try again. This never the mentality. Everyone's like no, you got to go in there, you got to win, don't lose. If you lose, you resect it, you know. But that's it shouldn't be the mentality. It should be do your best and I'll still be proud. That should be the mentality. It should be. How we talk to people should change and the stigma we place around failure really.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 34:51

Hmm, well, being from Hawaii, how do you feel Hawaii, since Hawaii is very unique in so many ways and lovely and beautiful and wonderful, but how do you feel being from Hawaii might have shaped you, shaped your life, you know, whether that is shape and mental health, or your perspective, or in any?

Speaker 3: 35:12

other ways. I think Hawaii is very as a state. They're very together. I think that when something you know goes wrong, a lot of people come together, put their differences aside and you know that's what it is. It's the Aloha state, right? So we're all set on sharing and caring and being there for one another, like every other state. Then there is, like the bad pull of it, right, we have people who are fighting, people who don't get along, people who you know our homeless problem is a mess. Our housing prices are expensive.

Speaker 3: 35:52

I always try to take into consideration how I treat people here, because it's really hard to live in Hawaii. You know, a lot of people are struggling with their rent, a lot of people are struggling with their family being homeless and they'll say, dollars, yeah, it's expensive, it's, it's hard to live in Hawaii. So you know it's important to be kind. I think that it's shaped my mental health because it's encouraged me to be more compassionate and to be more understanding of others. I'm proud to be understanding and compassionate of others, especially in a state that's full of, you know, aloha. So that's, that's very. I think the best thing about Hawaii is the people. The people make Hawaii, hawaii and I think without the people, hawaii would probably not be Hawaii. I agree, aloha.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 36:53

So what next for you?

Speaker 3: 36:57

Well, I actually be recreating in Miss Latino.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 37:02

Hawaii oh exciting, exciting.

Speaker 3: 37:05

They're wrecking, but exciting. Definitely a little scary, but, like I said, driving forward with the failure and telling myself that it's okay, do the hard thing, you can do it. It's definitely a little scary, though, but I'm going to do it. Aside from that, just advocating for mental health, still sharing my story with, hopefully, more schools sharing resources. I'll be doing the nomi walks coming up and I'm just excited for the opportunities that may be coming. I never know what the opportunities are going to be.

Speaker 3: 37:46

They come out of nowhere and they surprise me myself. But aside from that, I all I'm going to keep doing is what I like to do, what I do best, and that's, you know, being myself, being selfless. You know, helping others Sounds about right Moving forward. Moving forward, not looking back, just persevering.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 38:21

There's a connection, I feel, between persevering and resilience those that are resilient.

Speaker 3: 38:29

I think if you're resilient, you've learned to persevere.

Speaker 3: 38:34

You have to go through things. To you know, become resilient, and I think through resilience is how we find the drive to, you know, move forward and understand that we can do it, we're worthy of life, we're strong, we're beautiful and we will keep pushing forward. And with that perseverance comes opportunities, comes growth, new relationships, you know, new connections. So the best thing you can do for yourself is find resilience, persevere, and I think your life will be where it needs to be. I think you'll be at the best place that it can be, aside from having bad days sometimes.

Speaker 3: 39:23

You know, I think something I did want to mention is that, just because I don't suffer from depression at the level that I did before, it's still there. It's one of those things that, you know, I don't think we ever really heal from. I think that we learn to cope, and by learning to cope with it is how we understand that this is not the end of the world and that our emotions will not control us. But it's also important to understand, you know, how you speak to people, when you tell them, like, just go to a therapist. You know, so you can get better, they can get better, they'll learn coping skills. But that doesn't, you know it doesn't stop the panic attacks they might get when they see somebody in the gym that bullied them in high school.

Christina McKelvy: 40:07

You know from experience I've had.

Speaker 3: 40:09

I've actually had a panic attack in the gym from a girl that beat me up in high school. When I went into the gym two months ago where I walked in seen her panic attack ran out, even though it happened years ago. You know trauma, you know triggered, and you can never, really never truly heal from depression. But you can find the way to overcome it, so it's not so overbearing on you and so you go about your daily life and so you can, you know, not be so sad all the time.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 40:49

So this question I would ask everyone, and I think it kind of falls really nicely until you just said but what gives you hope?

Speaker 3: 40:56

I believe that what gives me hope is and I don't know why that's such a hard question to answer for me I believe that my hope is driven by everything I've been through. I think that I get hope from my past. I think I get hope from the opportunities that I end up getting offered. I think I find hope in building new friendships and rekindling old ones. I find hope in my family. I find hope in my friends and I just find hope in, honestly, my community. I believe that Hawaii is so small we should all stick together. Aside from just the community of Hawaii, I also would like to one day impact kids in another state, kids in, you know, Maui, kids in Kauai, even kids in California. If I could, you know that, if I could make it my dream to travel around the world and preach mental health and advocate for this, I would do it in a heartbeat, no pay, I would just do it.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 42:17

I think you so much for being here and showing it.

Speaker 3: 42:22

Yeah, me too. I really enjoy talking about mental health and also just speaking to you, and I love this podcast. I love what it stands for. I'm so excited. Thank you for allowing me to be here today. Again, I am so thankful for the opportunity and to be able to share with you my story and also just get to know you a little bit more as a person. Thank you.

Asianna Saragosa-Torres: 42:51

I love telling your story, your story about resilience and all the work you're doing, and I look at the board to see what's next and sending you lots of positive advice with Miss Latina Hawaii.